Are you among some of the many students who struggle with making and keeping friends because of misunderstandings, arguments, or feeling left out? These challenges can make school life stressful and affect your learning.
However, there’s a crucial skill you can develop that can help you handle your emotions better and that of your friends. It’s called emotional intelligence (EI).
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional Intelligence (EI) is the ability to understand and manage your emotions while also recognising how others feel. It helps you communicate better, solve problems calmly, and build strong friendships. For primary and secondary school students, EI is key to enjoying school life and working well with others.
Emotional Intelligence From a Teenage Perspective | Maximilian Park | TEDxYouth@PVPHS
Why Does Emotional Intelligence Matter for Friendships?
When students have good Emotional Intelligence, they can:
- Understand Others Better: They recognise how their friends feel and respond kindly.
- Communicate Clearly: They express themselves in a way that others understand.
- Handle Disagreements Peacefully: Instead of arguing, they find ways to solve problems.
- Work Well in Groups: They cooperate with classmates and help each other learn.
For example, if you get frustrated during group work, EI helps you stay calm and talk things out instead of getting upset. This keeps friendships strong and makes teamwork easier.
How Does Emotional Intelligence Help You in School?
Building emotional intelligence can improve many areas of your life:
- Better Communication: You can explain your thoughts and feelings clearly.
- Stronger Friendships: You show kindness and support to your peers.
- Less Stress and Anxiety: Managing emotions helps you stay calm in tough situations.
- Better Focus in Class: You can control distractions and concentrate on learning.
- Higher Grades: Staying motivated and handling setbacks well leads to better performance.
6 Ways to Develop Emotional Intelligence
Here are simple ways to build your EI and improve your friendships:
1. Know Your Emotions
Pay attention to how you feel during the day. Are you happy, frustrated, or nervous? Why do you feel that way at that time? Writing down your emotions in a journal can help you understand what affects your mood.
2. Stay Calm Under Pressure
When you’re angry or upset, take deep breaths or count to ten before reacting. This helps you think before speaking and prevents fights.
3. Put Yourself in Others’ Shoes
Before judging a classmate, ask yourself, “How would I feel if I were in their place?” “How would I want to be treated?” Understanding their side can make it easier to get along.
4. Practice Good Communication
When talking to friends, listen carefully before responding. Use “I feel” statements instead of blaming. For example, say, “I feel hurt when you ignore me,” instead of, “You always ignore me!”
5. Learn from Stories
Books and movies often show characters dealing with emotions. Discussing how they handle problems can help you understand your own feelings better.
6. Set Goals and Stay Motivated
Write down small goals for improving your friendships or school performance. Celebrate your progress to stay encouraged.
How Teachers and Parents Can Help
In the Classroom
- Teachers can start the day with short discussions about emotions and kindness.
- Group projects can teach students teamwork and patience.
- Storytelling can help students understand different emotions and reactions.
At Home
- Parents can talk openly about feelings and how to handle them.
- Encouraging children to talk about their day can improve communication skills.
- Adults should set an example by showing kindness and self-control.
In Conclusion
Emotional intelligence is an important skill for making friends, handling school challenges, and succeeding in life. By understanding your emotions and improving how you relate to others, you can enjoy school more, work better with classmates, and achieve your goals.
