A Teacher’s Insight
As an educator with over two decades of experience, I’ve had the privilege of watching children grow, learn, and thrive. But I’ve also witnessed the darker side of school life: bullying. It’s a pervasive issue that affects many children, often hidden from view but with effects that are profound and far-reaching. Bullying affects a child’s well-being—emotionally, mentally, and physically, leaving scars that can last well into adulthood.
Both parents and teachers must remain vigilant in spotting the signs of bullying, as early intervention can make all the difference. Even in seemingly safe and privileged environments, bullying occurs, as demonstrated by recent high-profile cases in Nigeria.
High-Profile Cases That Highlight the Consequences of Bullying
A tragic incident at Lead British International School in Abuja recently underscored the urgency of addressing bullying in schools. A video surfaced showing a female student being repeatedly slapped by another student while others watched and laughed. This incident caused widespread outrage and reinforced the need for schools to be proactive in preventing bullying.
In 2021, the case of Sylvester Oromoni, a student at Dowen College in Lagos, shocked the nation. Sylvester tragically died under mysterious circumstances, with allegations of bullying and physical abuse by his peers emerging. The case serves as a grim reminder of the severe consequences of unchecked bullying.
Another poignant case is that of Keren-Happuch Aondodoo Akphagher, a 14-year-old student at Premiere Academy, Lugbe, Abuja. Keren died after allegedly being sexually assaulted, leading to a serious infection. It highlighted the potential for bullying and abuse to escalate unnoticed.
The story of Don Davies, an 11-year-old student at Deeper Life High School in Akwa Ibom State, brought attention to the mistreatment of students in boarding schools. His mother publicly accused the school of allowing senior students to starve, bully, and molest him, sparking investigations and calling for greater accountability in the institution. The case was eventually settled out of court.
Key Signs of Bullying and How to Respond
Beyond these high-profile cases, I’ve seen how bullying can erode a child’s confidence and hinder their academic progress. Parents and teachers must recognise the signs of bullying early and take swift action. Here are some key indicators that a child may be experiencing bullying, along with practical advice on how to support them.
1. Unexplained Injuries
It’s normal for children to come home with the occasional scrape or bruise, but if injuries are frequent and unexplained, this could be a warning sign. Children often hide their injuries out of fear or intimidation by bullies.
For example, I once noticed a student who regularly arrived at school with bruises. He claimed to have fallen on the playground, but the injuries were too frequent and severe to be simple accidents. After a gentle conversation, it emerged that older students were bullying him.
What to do: Approach these situations with caution. Instead of direct or accusatory questions, ask open-ended ones like, “I’ve noticed you’ve had some bruises lately—can you tell me what happened?” This ensures the child feels supported, not blamed. If they hesitate to open up, check in with their teacher or school counsellor.
2. Sudden Changes in Behaviour
Bullying can cause dramatic shifts in a child’s behaviour. Some children become withdrawn and quiet, while others may suddenly act out or become disruptive.
I remember a student named Juliana, who was normally bubbly and eager to participate in class activities. One day, she started sitting at the back of the classroom, avoiding eye contact, and refusing to engage. After speaking with her parents, we discovered she had been facing relentless bullying from her peers.
What to do: When you notice such changes, gently inquire about what’s going on. Ask your child how they’re feeling, or as a teacher, keep the lines of communication open with your students. If the child doesn’t want to talk, involving a counsellor or another trusted adult may help.
3. Avoiding Social Situations
Children who are bullied often avoid places and people connected to the bullying. This may include avoiding school, extracurricular activities, or social gatherings they used to enjoy.
I once had a student who frequently asked to go to the nurse’s office during games, complaining of headaches or stomach aches. After further investigation, we discovered another student was targeting her during sports.
What to do: If your child or student is avoiding school or activities, ask why in a gentle, non-confrontational manner. Let them know you’re listening and ready to help. Teachers can support this by creating a safe and inclusive environment in the classroom and being attentive to those who start withdrawing.
4. Declining School Performance
One of the signs of bullying is a drop in academic performance. Children under emotional distress often lose focus, stop turning in homework, or struggle to keep up with lessons.
One student, Femi, was naturally gifted in maths and always eager to tackle challenging problems. However his performance started to decline, and he became withdrawn in class. After several conversations, we discovered he was being bullied by classmates who were jealous of his intelligence.
What to do: A sudden drop in school performance is a red flag. If you notice this in your child, meet with their teacher to discuss any changes in behaviour. Teachers should inform parents of academic struggles and work together to create a support system for the child.
5. Changes in Eating or Sleeping Habits
Stress and anxiety from bullying can disrupt a child’s eating or sleeping habits. A once-energetic student might become lethargic or develop nightmares.
In one case, a student in my class began falling asleep during lessons due to sleepless nights caused by anxiety over being bullied.
What to do: If your child’s appetite or sleep patterns change, don’t ignore it. Speak with them about how they feeling and consult a doctor to rule out other health issues. If the problem persists, professional counselling may help your child manage their anxiety.
6. Lost or Damaged Personal Items
Bullies often target a child’s belongings, leading to frequently lost or damaged school supplies or clothing.
I recall a student who frequently arrived at school without his supplies. He claimed to have lost them, but it turned out that a group of students had been taking and hiding his belongings to humiliate him.
What to do: If this happens, avoid jumping to conclusions or accusing your child of carelessness. Create a safe space for them to share what’s happening. Ask gently, “I’ve noticed you’ve been losing things—can you tell me more about it?”
7. Cyberbullying
With the rise of technology, bullying has moved beyond the schoolyard into the digital space. Cyberbullying includes online harassment, exclusion from social media groups, and spreading rumours or embarrassing photos.
One of my students was ostracised from her online friends’ group and subjected to cruel comments on social media. This left her feeling isolated and deeply depressed.
What to do: Monitor your child’s online activities and have regular conversations about responsible internet use. If you suspect cyberbullying, document the evidence (such as taking screenshots) and report it to the relevant platforms and school authorities.
Strategies Schools Can Adopt to Combat Bullying
Now, that you know these signs of bullying, what can be done to combat it? Schools must take proactive steps to create a safe and supportive environment for students. Here are strategies that have worked well in my experience.
1. Empowering Students
Teach students assertive communication skills to help them confront bullies. Encourage them to seek help from trusted adults and support their peers. They can use phrases like “Stop that” or “I don’t like it when you do that.”
2. Bystander Intervention
Encourage children to be active bystanders. Teach them that they have two safe options when witnessing bullying: intervene if it’s safe or report it to an adult. Peer support is crucial in creating a positive school climate.
3. Build Stronger Parent-School Partnerships
Strong parent-teacher partnerships are key to addressing bullying. Regular communication between parents and teachers ensures early intervention when problems arise.
4. Promote Emotional Intelligence Education
Incorporating lessons on empathy, emotional regulation, and conflict resolution helps children understand their emotions and those of others. This reduces the likelihood of bullying and promotes positive relationships among peers.
5. Create Safe Reporting Mechanisms
In my school, we’ve implemented both suggestion boxes and anonymous reporting systems to enable students to report bullying without fear of retaliation. Every report is investigated thoroughly, and consequences are imposed on those found guilty. Support for the victim is also essential, whether through counselling or other resources.
6. Have A Well Designed Anti-Bullying Policy
A strong anti-bullying policy is vital in any school. It’s a roadmap for our entire school community, clearly defining bullying and leaving no room for ambiguity. It sets out straightforward reporting procedures, so students feel safe speaking up and establishes consequences for unacceptable behaviour. But it goes deeper than that.
A good policy promotes a culture of respect, where empathy and kindness are championed. It encourages bystanders to intervene, empowering them to be part of the solution. A robust anti-bullying policy creates a school where every child feels safe, valued, and free to thrive.
Final Thoughts
Bullying is a complex issue that requires a collective response from parents, educators, and the community. By staying vigilant, maintaining open communication, and creating a safe environment, we can help ensure that our children feel supported, protected, and thriving. Their well-being is our shared responsibility.
